Children in Worship
Mark 10:13-14 And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.
Jubilee, Worship, and Community
A key word that has developed when trying “to Jubilee” has been “community.” That word, though, is an oft used word whose meaning has slipped and jellied in recent years. What exactly, really, Biblically, is ‘community?’ What we usually think is that community is ‘a bunch of people trying to do the same thing.’ And that’s not bad, as far as practical definitions go. However, a church as a community has a bit more narrow, sharp, and wonderful focus. Paul’s description of the church in I Corinthians 12 helps a lot. He points out that the church is a body… and just like our physical body, the church has many different parts. Those parts together, as different as they are, have a unity that forms community.
And usually we understand that. We relish the idea of different ‘folk’ in church. We wouldn’t reject a different race, or a different personality type, or a different sense of humor, just because they are different, have different needs, or like things in a different way. We would and do work together with those kinds of differentnesses, eager to keep Paul’s instruction.
But it seems to me that there is one group that in recent years we have unintentionally ostracized. It has been done for good, practical reasons that make sense to us. But the underlying principal of community has been hurt by it.
I am talking about our children.
A number of factors led to this. First, professional educators noticed that education can take place more efficiently by separating age groups in school. It was in the 19th century, and the idea was championed by Mr. Dewey (who also gave us the Dewey decimal system!) The teachers’ attention could be focused on needs, foundations, and ideas that each age group needed particularly to have reinforced.
And soon this idea travelled into the minds of the church. Certainly it makes sense that youngsters learn differently, and have different needs than oldsters. Attention spans differ. Interests vary. And, quite often, the different ages seem easily annoyed by each other, more than they find joy in each other. So why not separate the groups? Not only did this take place in Sunday Schools (another topic for another day,) but this happened in worship, the main event of the life of the church. While most conservative churches did not go so far as to have ‘young adult worship,’ ‘singles worship,’ ‘elderly worship,’ and ‘children’s worship;’ we DID organize our church’s activities along those lines, and frequently separated our young ones to another worship service. And it made sense.
But it was following the wrong principles. Pragmatism, convenience, and ‘effectiveness’ really shouldn’t be the ideas that drive our decisions about worship. So what SHOULD guide us?
Worship’s Aim
It might be almost too obvious, but the aim of worship is to please, glorify, and focus on God. Often today, our aim has shifted to pleasing, satisfying, helping, and focusing on us, instead. Worship and young children don’t seem to mix, in recent years. Because it isn’t interesting to them. Because it doesn’t satisfy their apparent needs on Sunday morning. But if we respond to those things by removing them from worship, we inadvertently reinforce the modern idea that worship is about THEM.
Unfortunately, we miss this target in a lot of ways. We leave churches because the worship doesn’t please US. We lose interest on a particular Sunday morning because the songs aren’t my type, or the sermon is not entertaining, or the subject at hand doesn’t have to do with MY troubles. We call worship boring and ineffective if it doesn’t make ME feel something that I like to feel.
But worship is for God.
To me, separating our children from worship reinforces (and maybe even gets started) the idea that worship is for us, instead of for God.
Worship’s Effect
I believe that corporate worship’s place at both the seventh day, AND the first day of the week is not accidental. It is to be THE thing we look towards all week. The most important thing. Rather than just a piece of our weekly pie, worship is supposed to be the capstone at the end of our week of service to our King. It is the tent that pulls all the rest of the week together. We can (and should) look forward to worship from Sunday at noon until the next Sunday at 11:00. And it also is the beginning of our week. Worship (fellowship with God, nudges from His word, the joy of praising Him) rejuvenates us for the week ahead. It reminds us of what our week of service to our King is supposed to be. Worship both ends and begins our week.
God wants every Christian in corporate worship every week because it is important. And while worship’s aim is towards God, we mustn’t forget that worship also has great effect on us. It gives us a focus all week, and starts us out strong each new week. But it is driven by God’s Trinitarian presence, His Word, His worthiness, His Kingship, and His glory. Even though its effect is for us, it is still necessarily and profoundly attached to HIM.
And I think this is where Paul’s ‘body’ passage particularly applies. While we do indeed have different troubles, problems, weaknesses, and needs… worship is for ALL of them. God’s salvation does not save us in different ways, It saves all of our differentnesses in ONE way. Worship symbolizes that. Our differences can actually be overwhelmed and drawn-together in our common worship of the One true God.
To me, separating our children from worship lessens that. It seems to say, “my children’s interest level, attention span, and immaturity trump the unified effect of worship.”
Worship’s Flavor
The church is filled with delightfully different people. And yet we are all one in Christ. A choir is a good example of the beauty of the unity of the church. Imagine thirty people singing a song; all singing the melody; all in unison. Certainly this would display the unity of the people singing. And if they all loved the melody, they would all enjoy it. But also imagine thirty people singing a song with four parts. A deep Bass, a mellow Alto, a soaring Tenor, a clear Soprano. And make it richer… imagine counterparts, cool little twirling parts… extra Bass runs… an amazingly unified choir of multiple parts all really singing the same song. The variety makes the song… well… it makes the song sing.
Each part, while seemingly minor, adds to the whole: Even the tone-deaf guy in the back who only adds to the choir because of his joyful eyes. And therefore, each part’s absence detracts from the whole.
Worship is meant to be an activity of the whole church. And it is richer, fuller, more complete when all are here doing it. Even the parts that don’t SEEM like we are actively ‘doing.’ It’s a choir. And the whole choir needs to sing.
To me, separating our children from worship removes a part of the body from the church. If we believe that our children, by virtue of God’s promises to ‘believers and to their children’ are part of the church, then their voices and eyes are necessary for the choir to be complete.
The Problems
I know it’s not so easy. I know that young children aren’t used to it, often. I know it is not what WE are used to, perhaps. Children’s minds wander. Their fidgets overwhelm them, and distract us. It is so LONG. They don’t seem to LIKE it. It is a LOT of work to shepherd them through worship each week. It makes it harder for parents to pay attention, and worship with THEIR whole hearts. I know it’s not so easy.
But I believe the principals are important enough to fight for, and to work towards. Here are three things we can do.
Be Better Parents
Ok, I admit I wrote that one to get your attention. Please don’t be defensive. I do NOT mean, really, that parents who want to have children’s church are bad parents. But if our ideas here are correct… some parental adjustments can be useful.
Teach: Talk about these things with your children. Even your young children. BE excited and ACT excited to be at church WITH the church. During worship, teach them about sitting still. Discipline if necessary. Talk about worship all week long. About LAST week’s worship, and about THIS week’s worship. They will learn what you teach. They are built like that.
Practice: Sunday corporate worship won’t seem so unusual if we practice it during the week. Read Scripture with your family daily. Sing together daily. I recommend a specific time, where other things are left aside and the family worships together: focused, attentive, excited, and regularly. Even the ‘sitting still’ can be worked towards with practice.
Trust: When we say that we don’t care about noisy kids, we mean it. It seems unusual. But it is what we believe, and are trying to manifest. The fact that our kids squabble during mealtime doesn’t mean we stop eating with other people, or at least it shouldn’t. We don’t mind the noise, the motions, the comments, the laughter, or the crying. Trust us. We want our children here.
Be Better Parishioners
Patience: Children are children. We believe that our children are a necessary part of worship. So let’s make sure we send that signal. Their fidgets externally are no different than OUR internal fidgets and wandering. So be patient.
Joy: Children are a part of the earthly/heavenly choir. Rejoice in the things they add. It is NOT a distraction, it is a part of the whole picture. Enjoy it. I do!
Wholeness: Children are a part of EVERY aspect of our lives. And we love them! This goes for worship, too. ALL of us can help train our church’s children in the way they should go.
Be Better Leaders
I apologize for the times I have been insensitive to the frustrations of children’s parents in worship. I will endeavor to be more entertaining. (This is not a bad word in church, when it just means more attention holding.) I will include children in the sermon, through illustrations and direct comments. I will be sensitive to songs with 112 verses. I will smile more, envelope more, encourage more… and worship more.